Complicated.

Idk when things started getting more complicated between you and I but today morning really made me realise how naive and stupid and immature I am, thinking this could work. Thinking that you and i being friends would work cause how can it when you like me more than i like you?

Yes i know, in my many drunken stupors, i have told you that we aren’t dating because of traditions, because of distance and other excuses. And that at the end of the day i would date you if i could because i like you. But what has changed from those times to today morning is that yes i do like you, a lot even, but i like you as a friend. A companion that speaks to my inner self, the one not many people as it is the most vulnerable part of someone. Being apart from you for the past few weeks has made me realise that it isn’t the physical that i crave but it is your companionship. Talking and texting over the phone gave me more satisfaction than our romp in the sheets during those sultry nights.

I know i hurt you terribly today when i told you again how me talking to you wasn’t because i want to date you but it was because i enjoy our silly conversations. I know you’re expecting me to fall for you and give in by dating you but Mr Miller i will tell you now that this will never happen. It will never happen because i treasure you as a friend and a human above anything and everything else and dating a girl who has so many unresolved issue and can’t give you 1001% dating commitment is not something i will allow to happen. No siree you take my word for it.

Hate me all you want, I don’t know if we’ll ever speak after today but my dearest Camu, know that i sayang you always and you’ll always have a special place in my heart because you are the kindest and most brilliant souls i’ve met in my time and it’s a soul i’ll cherish always.