Early Mornings.

waking up to a sky so blue, a dawn so orange that it seems like the whole sky is on fire.

but I think what it would be like to wake up in your arms.

pulling on a jacket to ward off that early morning chill, shuffling across the floor with the promise of hot cocoa is what keeps you going.

cause all I want to do is go back to bed and feel your arms around me.

steam rises, fogging the mirror. hot water burning, scalding the skin on your back, turning you red with raw pain and the need to feel something, anything more than the emptiness which consumes you.

I remember the way you looked at me that morning, laughter crinkling the edges of your eyes as you jangle my keys high up in the air. Teasing me to no end with your smile and banter. Testing my patience, pushing it to the breaking point.

wrapping yourself up in his old shirt, you sit by the window. Observing life start to awaken.
Parents walking their children to school, dogs taking their morning walk.
A couple in midst of a kiss, sad to be apart for the day but anxious and excited for what the night will behold them. The world is at such peace.

I’m sorry love, that knock on the ground caused his aneurysm to rupture. It wasn’t your fault, none of us could’ve known he’d have had it. It was just a series of unfortunate events.

Funny, how in one split second your whole universe can come crashing down. Your whole life shredded in mere seconds and yet, it’s as insignificant as a shout into the oblivion.

Love continues to blossom. People continue to grow and the world keeps spinning. And there is just you, sitting by the window of your psych ward, drinking medication that you think is hot cocoa, wondering what today may have been like if you hadn’t killed him 5 years ago.